


A Mistake

by jboh



Category: BanG Dream! Girl's Band Party! (Video Game)
Genre: Gen, also: warning for mangled stan language, not necessarily part of the KCU buuuuuuuuuuuuut..., post-hs au where pasupare is still active, references to alcohol and sexual activity (if you can call it that), so if i need to boot it up to M pls lemme know
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-12
Updated: 2019-03-12
Packaged: 2019-11-16 08:56:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 692
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18091328
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jboh/pseuds/jboh
Summary: Kaoru gets invited to the absolutely wrong party. But was it really?





	A Mistake

**Author's Note:**

> Once upon a time, I tweeted that Kaoru should speak like a poorly-written smut fic. And thanks to the overwhelmingly unwarranted feedback I received, this drabble was born. Don't hate the player, hate the game!

The door swung. Kaoru smiled gallantly as she held up a twelve-pack in each hand with little effort. “Good evening, kittens, for I have arrived!”

Hina blinked at her, confused. “Wait, you’re not Lisa-chan.”

“Unfortunately so,” Chisato’s disapproving voice could be heard from within.

“N… No, I am not?” Kaoru wrinkled her brow. It would’ve been unsightly on any other person than one such as herself.

Hina blinked a few more times before smiling brightly. “Well, you  _did_ bring the goods, so close enough! I’m sure we can find some way for you to be boppin’ as her. Come on in!” Without asking permission, she grabbed Kaoru’s wrist and pulled her along, shutting the door after Kaoru elegantly stumbled in.

 

* * *

 

"Well, if you must know," Kaoru began, clutching her unopened green bottle within her hands (it was just Official PasuPare™-approved seltzer water, at her request), "I have indeed had the honor of alighting my lips onto the—the tender, sopping moistness that is—"

A round of obnoxious cackling and gagging drowned out the rest of Kaoru's words, although one could hear a confused " _what does that mean?_ " amongst the fray. "Sopping? I don't think I've ever heard it used in a context like this before. Is it an advanced form of bushido?"

"HUHU _HUHUHE_ HEhehe _he_ heh, ha _haaaa_ , ahah-huh, uh, Eve-san, you see, Kaoru-san's trying to say—" Maya managed before collapsing in another fit of giggles.

"Don't worry about it, Eve-chan," Chisato said primly as she held a hand up to hide her smirk. It didn't work. " _Honestly_ _—_ "

"Oh," Maya almost knocked over a few bottles as she turned to Aya, who blinked sleepily at her. "Doesn't this remind you of that one Mattpad thing you wanted us to try and act out that one time? The one about that one group! Uhhhhhmmm..."

"GTS?" Aya's voice took on a sad quality. "Geez, Maya-chan, after all this time you could at least try to remember my favorite oppas! Oh, wait." Aya's voice now took on a panicked quality. "Um, if everybody could just forget about that—"

"Oppa? What does oppa mean?"

Kaoru groaned and rested her forehead against the bottle, the cool glass surface providing some relief against her heated skin. At least they were leaving her alone now.

 

* * *

 

"Please, continue to leave me be! This—this just simply isn't proper! What happens between me and my princesses should stay that way," Kaoru insisted. Somehow, the idol group managed to get back on topic, thanks to a desperate, teary-eyed Aya. Kaoru waved her now-half-empty bottle as if brandishing a torch, warning Hina to stay back.

"Oh, don't be so lame, Kaoru-kun," Hina complained. "If I accidentally butt-dialed you to a PasuPare afterparty, you could at least be entertaining!"

"E-excuse m— _so it was an accident_?!"

"Oh, so you _weren't_ actually trying to test me, Hina-chan?"

"At this point, everything tests you, Chisato-chan. It's honestly kinda funny!"

"Everyone, please," Eve said sternly, "I am most curious about this topic. I have the feeling that I can learn a lot about Japanese culture from Kaoru-san right now." She paused. "Also, what is the difference between a butt-dial and a booty-call?"

"Culture? Kaoru? Are you su—"

Kaoru coughed. "Very well." She coughed again, and once more for good measure. She puffed out her chest while she was at it. "I'll have you know that just from the very touch of my delicate fingertips, countless women were overcome... and thus shook with abandon much like... like—"

"Shook?"

"Shooketh. They were shooketh."

"Wait, I know the response to this! Wig, right?"

"Oh my god. I'm SO proud of you Maya-chan!"

"Why did they shook? I do not think I understand..."

"It's simple! They shook," Hina nodded, "like an addict. Now _that's_ boppin'."

"PLEASE do NOT attempt to feed words into my mouth—"

Chisato groaned, putting her head into her hands. "Are you telling me I lost Kanon to THIS?"

"I dunno," Hina said, tilting her head. She cracked open another bottle and offered it around. "I can actually kinda see it! But I think that ends up saying more about _you_ than it does about Kaoru-kun!"


End file.
